Can you elaborate on the last point, because I feel like everyone does that though, right now?

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10

It feels like "everyone does that" because we live in a culture—even within some of our Coptic social circles—that has traded the Orthodox "Way" for a secular, "hookup" or "situational" dating culture. People treat relationships like shopping for a car: they "test drive" multiple people, give away their emotional and physical energy, and then wonder why they feel empty or cynical when it’s time to actually get married.

When I say "Guard your heart" and "Stop dating for fun," here is the straight-to-the-point breakdown of why this is a red flag for a Godly man and a danger to your soul:

1. The "Fragmentation" of the Soul

Every time you enter a "talking stage" or a casual relationship where you share your secrets, your dreams, and your affection without the commitment of the Church, you give a piece of your heart away. By the time you find your ibn hallal, you don’t want to hand him a heart that has been shattered and glued back together ten times because you were "bored" or "seeing what's out there."

• Real Talk: A Godly man values a woman who is "a garden enclosed" (Song of Solomon 4:12). He wants to know that your intimacy—emotional and physical—is a treasure, not a commodity that everyone in the Diocese has had a sample of.

2. The Danger of "The List"

When you date around "for fun," you start comparing everyone to everyone else. You develop a "shopping list" mentality. You stop looking at a person as an icon of God and start looking at them as a collection of traits to entertain you. This makes you "unfillable." No real man can compete with the fantasy or the "high" of a new "talking stage" every three months.

3. The "Community" Reputation

We must be honest: the Coptic community is small. If you are known as the girl who is always "with" someone new at every convention, wedding, or church trip, a serious, Godly man will overlook you. He isn't looking for someone who is "public property" in the social scene. He is looking for someone who is refined, dignified, and selective.

4. It’s a Lack of Faith

Dating "for fun" or because "everyone is doing it" usually comes from a fear that if you don't put yourself out there constantly, you'll end up alone. This is a lack of trust in God's providence.

• The Orthodox Way: You prepare yourself, you pray, you stay active in your service, and you let the Holy Spirit facilitate the meeting. When a man approaches you, he should be approaching you with the intention of speaking to your Father of Confession and your parents shortly after—not "hanging out" for two years to "see where it goes."

How to actually do this (The Strategy):

• Level Up Your Circle: If your friends are the ones constantly talking about guys and "dating for fun," they will drag you down. Find sisters in the church who are focused on their spiritual life.
• Define Your Boundaries: If a guy DMs you or asks to "hang out," be straightforward. If he isn't someone who matches your spiritual values or someone you can see as a husband, don't give him the time of day. You aren't being "mean"; you are being a steward of your heart.
• Focus on the Liturgy: Instead of looking for a man, look for Christ in the Liturgy. An ibn hallal is usually found in the same place you should be: serving, praying, and growing.

The Bottom Line: Just because "everyone" is doing it doesn't mean it's right. As Coptic Orthodox Christians, we are called to be a "peculiar people," set apart. If you act like every other girl, you will attract a guy who acts like every other guy. If you want a man of God, you must be a woman of God who doesn't play the world's games.