Should my spouse and I go out alone or with friends?

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10

Marriage is a sacred mystery in which the two become one flesh. Unlike the period of courtship, where strict boundaries are necessary to preserve purity before the union, marriage is the proper context for intimacy and the deepening of the bond between husband and wife.

The Priority of the Marital Bond

In the Coptic Orthodox tradition, the husband and wife are the primary support system for one another. St. John Chrysostom emphasizes that the love between a husband and wife is a "force that binds society together" and that nothing should be allowed to disturb this harmony. Therefore, spending time alone is not only permitted but is essential for maintaining the "inner peace" of the household.

Abba Doulas taught that we must not listen to the enemy if he induces us to give up our "inner peace". In a marriage, this peace is often nurtured in the quiet moments of shared prayer, conversation, and companionship away from the "love of the multitude," which can sometimes trouble the spirit.

The Role of Community and Friends

While the couple’s bond is primary, Christians are also members of the Body of Christ—the Church.

1. Edifying Company: Spending time with other Christian couples and friends can be very beneficial. It allows for mutual encouragement in the faith and provides a support network for the family.
2. Service Together: As a couple, participating in the life of the Church and serving together strengthens your shared spiritual life.

Practical Balance

• Alone Time: This is necessary for the "quietness of the soul." It allows you to fulfill the command to love one another and to ensure that the "small church" (the home) is healthy. As Pope Kyrillos VI often emphasized, the home should be a place of prayer and peace.
• Time with Friends: This should be balanced so that it does not become a distraction or a way to avoid the responsibilities and intimacy of the marriage. Choose friends who lead you toward Christ rather than away from Him.

In all things, whether you are alone or with others, follow the advice of St. John Chrysostom: "Do all in the Name of the Lord, and all shall be prospered to thee." Give thanks to God for your spouse and your friends alike, ensuring that your social life always reflects the glory of God.