When I text my Father of Confession, even when I say "I hope you are doing well," he doesn't answer that part. He just gives his answer for his availability. I don't know if it's like a formality. What does a normal youth do?

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10

It is understandable why you feel that way. When you are texting your Father of Confession (FOC) and he skips over the "I hope you are doing well" part to jump straight to the logistics—like his availability—it can feel a bit dismissive or like you said something unnecessary.

However, you have to look at this through the lens of a priest’s daily life. A "normal youth" in the Coptic Church usually follows a specific unspoken etiquette when texting Abouna. Here is the reality of why he does that and what is expected of you:

1. The "Priest’s Inbox" Reality

Most priests receive hundreds of texts a day ranging from "When is the meeting?" to "I am having a suicidal crisis" to "What is the date of the fast?" Because of this, many priests develop a habit of "triage." He likely read your well-wishes, appreciated them in his heart, but focused his reply on the actionable part of the message to save time and stay efficient.

2. Is it a formality?

Yes and no. In the Coptic tradition, the "I hope you are doing well" or "Pray for me, Abouna" is considered a standard "vestibule" to a conversation. Even if Abouna doesn't explicitly type back "I am doing well too," he recognizes that you are being a respectful, well-mannered son or daughter.

In Source 2 and 3 of our traditions, we see that language is often used to show Coptic/Egyptian manners. To Abouna, your greeting shows you are not "demanding" his time but approaching him with the respect due to his priesthood.

3. What does a "normal youth" do?

A typical youth who is active in the church will:

1. Always include the greeting: Even if Abouna never responds to it, keep doing it. It shows your character and your respect for his fatherhood.
2. Don't take it personally: If he ignores the "how are you" part, do not feel awkward. He isn't ignoring you; he is just answering the question you need solved.
3. Keep it brief: Priests actually appreciate it when you are concise. The "standard" Coptic text usually looks like this:

• “Pray for me Abouna. I hope you are doing well. Are you available for confession this Tuesday?”

4. The Bottom Line

If Abouna sends you a message saying "I hope you are doing well," you should definitely answer it. Even if he doesn't answer yours, your answering his is a sign of obedience and filial love.

If you say it to him and he ignores it: Keep saying it anyway. In the Coptic Church, we don't base our respect on whether the other person "replies" to the pleasantries. We do it because he is the servant of the Altar, and we remain blessed by maintaining that respectful distance and love.

Pro-tip: If you want to feel less awkward, instead of "I hope you are doing well," try using the more traditional Coptic phrase: "Pray for me, Abouna." It serves the same purpose of a greeting but places the focus on his spiritual role, and he is much more likely to say "God bless you" or "I will" in response.