I have not confessed in probably like six years and I do not know how to start preparing or doing it. Also, I have been seeing a guy for 3.5 years, and I do not know how to talk about that because he is not Orthodox. What should I do?

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10

It is a blessing that you are feeling the call to return to the Sacrament of Penance and Confession. Do not be afraid or discouraged by the length of time that has passed. Remember that the Church is a hospital for sinners, and through this sacrament, you are returning to the embrace of the Father.

Here is a guide on how to prepare, how to conduct the confession, and how to address your relationship.

1. Preparation for Confession

Preparation should begin at least a day before you meet with your Father of Confession.

• Prayer for Enlightenment: Ask God to help you resolve to tell all your sins and to bring to your mind the things that weigh most on your conscience.
• Self-Examination: Reflect on your life over the last six years. You should examine your relationship with God, yourself, and others. It is often helpful to write down your sins on a piece of paper so that you do not forget them due to nerves or the passage of time.
• Prioritize the Heavy Burdens: The most valuable thing in the eyes of God is the confession of the sin that weighs most heavily on your conscience. Do not hide or minimize these; bringing them into the light is where healing begins.
• Fasting: As confession is a Holy Sacrament, it should be practiced while fasting, just like the other sacraments.

2. During the Sacrament

• Setting: In the church, there is usually a designated place for confession. You will sit respectfully before the priest, who is the minister of the Mysteries of God in the presence of the Holy Spirit.
• The Process: You and the priest will make the Sign of the Cross and pray the Lord’s Prayer together.
• Be Direct: Read from your paper or speak from your heart. Be straightforward and avoid making excuses or blaming others. As seen in the example of Adam and Eve, failure to confess directly what was done leads to further separation from God; instead, offer a "confession of your lips" to be absolved.
• The Absolution: At the end, the priest will provide spiritual counsel and then pray the Absolution over you.

3. Addressing Your Relationship

In the Coptic Orthodox faith, marriage is a Holy Sacrament that requires both parties to be Orthodox Christians to be united "in the Lord." Regarding your relationship of 3.5 years with a non-Orthodox man, you should approach it with total honesty:

• Be Straightforward: Tell your confession father exactly how long you have been seeing him and what the nature of the relationship is (including if it has involved physical intimacy, which is reserved for the sanctity of marriage).
• The Lack of Shared Faith: Mention clearly that he is not Orthodox. This is a vital point because, according to the canons of the Church, an Orthodox Christian cannot be wed to a non-Orthodox person in a sacramental marriage.
• Seeking Direction: Ask your priest for guidance on how to proceed. He might suggest that the young man begin attending church to learn about the faith, or he may provide specific instructions on how to handle the relationship if marriage is the intent.

Do not be ashamed to bring this up. Your Father of Confession is there to help you navigate your life according to the Truth of the Church and to help you find a path that leads to your salvation and spiritual peace.

Throw yourself on the mercy of the Lord, for our sins can never outweigh His love toward us.