What should I do if I feel shy and embarrassed around my father of confession because of a serious sin I previously confessed to him?

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10

It is a very common human emotion to feel a lingering sense of shame after confessing a serious sin. However, it is vital to understand the spiritual reality of the Mystery of Confession and the role of the priest from a Coptic Orthodox perspective.

Here is why you should not let this embarrassment hinder your next appointment:

1. The Priest is a Witness, Not the Judge

When you confess, you are confessing to God in the presence of the priest. As we see in the Rites of the Holy Liturgy, the priest himself acknowledges his own weakness. He prays, “Remember O Lord, my weaknesses and forgive me my many sins,” and the deacon responds by reassuring him of God's redemption. Your Father of Confession knows he is a fellow sinner who also stands in need of the same mercy he dispenses to you.

2. The Priest Has "Holy Forgetfulness"

Most priests testify that God grants them a special grace to forget the specific sins confessed by their children. Beyond that, a priest who hears many confessions becomes like a physician in a hospital. A doctor is not disgusted by a deep wound; he is focused on how to heal it. When you confessed that major sin, your priest did not look at you with judgment, but likely with joy that you returned to the "sacrificed Lamb of God, who carries the sins of the whole world."

3. Shame is a Tool Used by the Enemy

In our tradition, we distinguish between Godly Sorrow, which leads to repentance, and Demonic Shame, which leads to hiding. If the devil cannot stop you from sinning, he will try to stop you from going to the physician by using your embarrassment. By staying away because of a past sin, you are allowing that old sin to continue hurting your relationship with God today.

4. Once Confessed, It Is Gone

In the Coptic Orthodox Church, we believe that once a sin is confessed and the prayer of absolution is pronounced, that sin is wiped away by the Blood of Christ. As stated in Psalm 103, “He forgives all her sins... He redeems her life from the pit, covers her with mercy and compassion.” If God has forgiven and forgotten the sin, you should not give it the power to keep you from the Church.

5. Practical Advice to Overcome the Shyness:

• Admit the feeling: Start your session by saying, "Father, I have been feeling very shy and embarrassed to come see you because of what I confessed last time." By saying it out loud, you break the power of that secret shame.
• Focus on the Liturgy: Remember the deacon's response in the liturgy: “Redeemed indeed...” This is the Church’s testimony to every repentant soul.
• Look at the Cross: Do not look at the priest's face if it helps; look at the Cross he holds or the icon of Christ. You are there for your salvation.

The fact that you are embarrassed is actually a sign of a tender conscience. Use that humility to fuel your next confession rather than letting it be a wall. Your Father of Confession cares for your soul and will likely be very encouraged to see that you are continuing to struggle for your salvation despite your fears.