What about an unmarried couple eating at a restaurant?

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10

When considering the behavior of a couple that is not yet married, the Coptic Orthodox perspective is guided by the principles of modesty, shunning the appearance of evil, and respecting the sacred boundaries of a relationship that has not yet been sealed by the Holy Spirit in the Sacrament of Matrimony.

For an unmarried couple in a public setting like a restaurant, the following points should be considered:

1. Distinction of Status

In the Coptic Church, there is a clear distinction between a couple that is "one flesh" through the Mystery of Crowning and a couple that is still in the stage of getting to know one another (acquaintance or engagement). Physical intimacy, even in small gestures like holding hands, is traditionally reserved for the marriage bond. For an unmarried couple to hold hands while praying—especially in public—can blur the lines of the specific purity the Church calls youth to maintain before marriage.

2. The Virtue of Modesty

Modesty is not just about clothing; it is about conduct. In a public restaurant, a Coptic Orthodox Christian's behavior should be a witness to their faith. Saint Paul instructs us to "abstain from every form of evil" (1 Thessalonians 5:22). Holding hands in public suggests a level of physical intimacy that, in the Orthodox tradition, is appropriate only for those who are married. By refraining from this, the couple honors the sanctity of the future marriage and protects their own spiritual well-being.

3. Prayer as a Witness

When eating at a restaurant, the most important act is the prayer itself—thanking God for the food and making the Sign of the Cross. This should be done with humility and without drawing unnecessary attention to the "romantic" nature of the relationship. As we see in the lives of the saints and patriarchs, such as the stories of Patriarch Isaac who unostentatiously blessed his food, our liturgical and prayerful acts should be done with wisdom and grace.

4. Avoiding Scrupulosity versus Maintaining Boundaries

While holding hands is not a "sin" in the same category as grave immorality, our Church teaches us to "flee youthful lusts" and to guard our senses. For an unmarried couple, maintaining a physical distance—even during prayer—is a practice of self-control and a sign of respect for one another’s chastity.

Practical Guidance:

The most appropriate way for an unmarried couple to pray before a meal in a restaurant is to:

• Sit across from or next to one another without physical contact.
• Cross themselves quietly.
• Pray together (either silently or in a low voice).
• Focus the moment entirely on gratitude to the Creator rather than on their physical connection to each other.

By waiting until the Church has united you in the Sacrament of Matrimony to practice such intimacy, you preserve the special nature of those gestures for the "Domestic Church" you will one day build together.