Can you confess to a nun if you don't trust your father of confession?

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-08

In the Coptic Orthodox Church, the Sacrament of Penance and Confession (سر التوبة والاعتراف) is a priestly office. Because the priest acts as the witness and the steward of God’s mysteries, having received the authority through Apostolic succession to declare the absolution of sins, you cannot confess to a nun for the purpose of receiving the sacrament.

Here is the theological and practical breakdown of why this is the case and how to handle a lack of trust:

1. The Authority of the Priesthood

The authority to "bind and loose" was given by Our Lord Jesus Christ specifically to His Apostles and their successors (the Bishops and Priests). As our Lord said, "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained" (John 20:23).

• Nuns and Monks: While they lead lives of high consecration and prayer, they do not hold the sacramental office of the priesthood. They cannot recite the Prayer of Absolution over you, which is the essential conclusion of the sacrament where the Holy Spirit grants the forgiveness of sins.

2. Guidance vs. Sacramental Confession

While you cannot confess to a nun sacramentally, you may certainly seek spiritual counsel (discernment) from a spiritually mature nun or Mother Superior (Tamav).

• This is frequent in monastic tradition where one might seek advice on spiritual warfare or prayer.
• However, after receiving such advice, you must still go to a priest to confess the actual sins and receive the liturgical absolution.

3. Lack of Trust in a Father of Confession

If you do not trust your Father of Confession, this is a serious spiritual obstacle that must be addressed, as the relationship between a penitent and their spiritual father is one of a "spiritual physician" and a patient.

• Self-Examination: First, examine why the trust is lacking. Is it because he is truly negligent or unprofessional, or is it a temptation from the enemy to keep you away from the "medicine of immortality"?
• The Priest as a Witness: Remember that you are confessing to Christ Himself; the priest is merely the witness. As the Church teaches, even if a priest were personally weak, the Grace of the Holy Spirit still works through his office to grant you forgiveness.
• Changing your Father of Confession: If there is a legitimate reason for a lack of trust (such as a breach of the seal of confession or if he is leading you away from Orthodox teaching), you are permitted to find another priest. However, this should not be done lightly or frequently ("priest hopping"). You should ideally seek the blessing of your current father or consult with your Bishop if the situation is grave.

Advice for You:

The documents on Preparation for Confession emphasize that we should "resolve to make amends, and receive whatever remedy our confessor should be guided to lay upon us." Without trust, you cannot receive this "remedy" effectively.

If you are struggling to speak with your current priest:

1. Pray specifically for him and for God to open your heart to him.
2. Speak to a different priest within the Coptic Orthodox Church. You must have a Father of Confession whom you respect and trust to guide your soul toward salvation.
3. Do not stay away from the sacrament. If you cannot talk to one priest, find another immediately so that you do not lose the blessing and the cleansing of the Holy Mysteries.