I didn't ask to come; it's not that deep, it's just me.
By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10
If the situation is more about your own internal need for reflection rather than a conflict with your mother’s expectations, you should look at this through the lens of stillness.
In our Coptic tradition, the desire to "sit with yourself" is not always a bad thing. In fact, many of our great saints, like St. Anthony the Great, taught that without inner quiet, we cannot hear the voice of God. St. Isaac the Syrian famously said, "If you love the truth, be a lover of silence."
However, we must distinguish between spiritual stillness and mental wandering. Here is how to decide:
1. The Liturgy Is Non-Negotiable
Regardless of whether you go to your mother’s house or stay at your aunt’s, you should attend the Divine Liturgy. A Coptic Christian finds their identity in the Eucharist. Missing the Liturgy to "sit with yourself" often leads to a heavy or cloudy mind rather than clarity.
2. The Purpose of the "Alone Time"
Ask yourself: Why do I want to be alone?
- If it is for prayer and self-honesty: If you feel that you need to examine your soul, pray the Agpeya, and talk to God without distractions, then an extra day of solitude can be very beneficial. St. Arsenius was told by a voice from heaven, "Flee, be silent, be still," because that was the path to his salvation.
- If it is to escape or procrastinate: Sometimes we want to stay alone just to scroll on our phones or avoid the reality of our lives. This isn't true stillness; it’s isolation, which can lead to sadness or akedia (spiritual despondency).
3. The Perspective of "Home"
As the writing of H.E. Metropolitan Kyrellos reminds us, your true identity is the "image and likeness of God." Sometimes we feel we need to be alone because we are trying to find ourselves. But he reminds us that "You don’t know who you are?!… You are the image and likeness of God… You are engraved on His palm."
If you stay at your aunt's house tonight:
- Make it count. Put away the phone.
- Read from the Synaxarium or the Paradise of the Holy Fathers.
- Stand before your icons and really pray.
Guidance
If you are feeling mentally overwhelmed and just need one more night of quiet to pray and regroup before the week starts, take that time—but only after going to church. But if you feel that you are just "stuck" in your head, going home to your family and being around people who love you is often the cure for a restless mind.
The heart is a "holy temple for the Lord," as the fathers teach us. If you can make your aunt's house a temple tonight, stay. If it’s just a place to hide, go home.