It looks like no matter who I talk to, I will end with the same conclusion: I am going to hell. Oh well, I don't care.
By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10
Mina, the language of "giving up" or accepting a fate of condemnation is a specific tactic that the fathers of the Church identify as despair.
From the perspective of Coptic Orthodox theology, no one is "destined" for hell by anyone other than themselves. The Church does not view hell as a pre-written script you are forced to follow, but as a persistent choice. If you feel like you are ending up at the same conclusion, it is because you are looking at your sins rather than looking at the nature of God.
The Problem of Despair
You say "I don't care" and accept hell, but the Church Fathers warn that this is the ultimate deception of the devil. The devil fell through pride and now seeks to drag others into his condemnation by convincing them that they are beyond help.
As noted by St. Jerome, pride is an evil that "inflicts far more injury on everyone" than we realize. By saying you "don't care," you are allowing pride to lock the door from the inside. St. John Chrysostom teaches that we should "smart not when we are punished, but when we sin." The fact that you feel frustrated highlights a conflict within your soul—a conflict between your created purpose (to be in union with God) and your current habits.
A Difference in Perspective
The reason you keep hearing the same conclusion is that the Truth does not change based on our feelings. However, the conclusion isn't "Mina is going to hell"; the conclusion is "Mina is choosing a Path that leads to Hell, and Christ is standing there waiting to pull him off it."
In the Coptic Church, we believe in a God who is the "Philanthropos" — the lover of mankind. He does not wish for the death of a sinner, but rather that he should return and live.
What You Can Do
Even if you feel no love for God and no shame for your sins right now:
- Stop Investigating Your Thoughts Alone: As St. Nicodemus of the Holy Mountain writes, instead of letting these thoughts weigh you down and lead you to "faintheartedness and despair," you should speak to a spiritual father. You don't need to "feel" holy to go to confession; you just need to be honest.
- Honesty is a Start: You are 23. You have decades of life ahead of you. The "pleasure" of pride and laziness you feel now is temporary and will eventually turn into a heavy burden that offers no satisfaction.
Hell is not a foregone conclusion for you unless you decide to stop struggling. The Church exists as a hospital for the sick, not a courtroom for the perfect. If you are "sick" with these sins, the hospital is exactly where you belong.
Sponsored by His Grace Bishop Kyrillos, Auxiliary Bishop in the Diocese of Los Angeles.