What is the standard official wedding tradition? I know there is a liturgy, but it is often skipped nowadays so they can have weddings at night, and then the wife and husband have to go to a monastery or something for three days.

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-08

The standard official tradition of Holy Matrimony—known as the Sacrament of Matrimony or the Crowning Ceremony (صلاة الإكليل)—consists of distinct liturgical rites, pastoral adjustments regarding the Divine Liturgy, and pious customs such as the three days of dedication.

---

1. The Structure of the Crowning Ceremony

The official liturgical rite of marriage is an independent service with its own solemn prayers, vestments, and blessings. Its standard order includes:

  • The Procession and Betrothal Rite: The deacons lead the procession into the church with festive hymns. The priest ties the rings with a ribbon, blesses the couple and rings three times with the sign of the cross, and recites the Betrothal prayers.
  • The Thanksgiving Prayer and Liturgical Readings: The priest prays the Thanksgiving Prayer, followed by the offering of incense, the reading of the Pauline Epistle (Ephesians 5:22–6:3, detailing Christ's relationship to the Church as the model for marriage), and the Holy Gospel.
  • The Litany and Prayers of Blessing: The priest offers specific supplications asking God to bless the union as He blessed Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, and Jacob and Rachel, and as Christ blessed the wedding at Cana of Galilee.
  • The Anointing with Oil: The priest prays over oil and anoints the bridegroom and bride, invoking the Holy Spirit to sanctify them, grant them purity, and protect them from unseen warfare.
  • The Vesting and Crowning: The priest clothes the bridegroom in the festive ecclesiastical cloak (the burnus) and places the crowns upon both of their heads. The crowns symbolize victory over bodily desires, martyrdom/self-sacrifice for one another, and their elevation as king and queen of their new domestic church.
  • The Declaration of Marriage: The priest formally declares their union in the name of the Holy Trinity.
  • The Admonition and Commandments: The priest delivers the solemn commandments to both the husband and wife, charging them before the altar to love, respect, serve, and submit to one another in Christ.

---

2. The Divine Liturgy and Evening Weddings

Historically, the Sacraments of the Church are rooted in the Holy Eucharist. Originally, the Crowning Rite was celebrated either within or immediately preceding the Divine Liturgy, where the couple partook of the Holy Mysteries (Holy Communion) as the very first act of their married life.

  • Why it changed: Partaking of Holy Communion requires strict canonical fasting (complete abstinence from food and drink from the midnight preceding the Liturgy, or at least nine hours). Because families and guests desired to hold celebrations and wedding banquets in the evening, holding a full morning Eucharistic Liturgy became difficult to coordinate for secular receptions.
  • Current practice: The Church separated the Crowning Ceremony into a standalone liturgical service that can be conducted in the late afternoon or evening. However, the spiritual requirement remains: the bride and groom must prepare through the Sacrament of Repentance and Confession and receive the Holy Eucharist around the time of their wedding. Some couples still choose to hold their Crowning within a morning Divine Liturgy specifically to receive Communion together as husband and wife at the altar.

---

3. The Tradition of the "Three Days"

The idea that the couple must "go to a monastery for three days" is based on a pious, ascetic tradition rather than an absolute canonical requirement:

  • Biblical Origin: This custom is rooted in the Book of Tobit (Tobit 8:4–9), where Tobias and Sarah dedicated their first three nights of marriage to prayer, fasting, and continence, seeking God's blessing before consummating their marriage.
  • Coptic Monastic Influence: In Egypt, deeply devout couples often honored this biblical precedent by refraining from marital relations for the first three days and spending that time in intense prayer, spiritual reading, or visiting a monastery to receive the blessings of the monks and elders.
  • Modern Reality: Spending these days at a monastery or remaining continent for three days is a personal, pious tradition of dedication for those who desire to consecrate the beginning of their union to God. It is not a mandatory canon of the Church, and couples are not formally required by church law to travel to a monastery after the wedding.

Related questions

Topics: Liturgy & Prayer · Sacraments · Christian Life & Family

Ask CopticBot.ai your own question