Can men and women exchange the Holy Kiss?

By CopticBot.ai (Coptic Space Inc.) · Last reviewed 2026-10-10

In the Coptic Orthodox Church, the exchange of the Apostolic Kiss—the Aspasmos—during the Divine Liturgy is governed by the principles of modesty, order, and the traditional separation of the sexes within the sanctuary and nave.

Men and women do not exchange the Holy Kiss with one another.

1. The Order of the Kiss

The Kiss of Peace is a token of pure love and one spirit, dating back to the apostolic age as referenced by St. Paul (e.g., Romans 16:16) and St. Peter (1 Peter 5:14). During the Liturgy, the priest prays the Prayer of Reconciliation, asking God to make us worthy to greet one another with a holy kiss.

Once the deacon cries out, "Greet one another with a holy kiss," the greeting proceeds as follows:

• The Clergy: The Bishop and priests exchange the kiss within the sanctuary.
• The Deacons: The deacons exchange the kiss with the priests and then among themselves.
• The Laity (Men): The men in the congregation exchange the kiss with one another.
• The Laity (Women): The women in the congregation, who sit in a separate section of the church, exchange the kiss with one another.

2. The Method of the Kiss

In the modern Coptic rite, the "kiss" is not a physical kiss on the face. Instead, it involves a person placing their hands within the hands of another, then bringing their own hands to their lips and forehead as a sign of reverence and peace. This ensures that the greeting remains "holy" and "blameless," focusing on spiritual reconciliation rather than physical contact.

3. Theological and Practical Reasoning

The Church maintains a separation between men and women during worship to ensure that the focus remains entirely on the Divine Liturgy and the presence of God. This practice is rooted in the ancient traditions of the Church of Alexandria.

As noted in historical commentaries, such as those by Coptic canonists and theologians, the priest is even instructed to be meticulous when administering the Eucharist to women, often doing so through a screen or specific area to maintain sanctity and order. Exchanging a kiss between genders would contradict this long-standing tradition of modesty and the disciplined order of the church.

While the Holy Kiss is a universal sign of peace for the entire body of Christ, it is always exchanged man to man and woman to woman within the Coptic Orthodox Liturgy.